I'm still here
I don't have much to say but I am wide awake at 2 a.m. and I am staying at my parents' house where I have internet so I decided to take advantage of it. It has been a crazy few months for me. It feels like one big whirlwind and I haven't had time to truly get my footing. My new job and new place are both going well. My biggest struggle lately is trusting God (as it often is). I often feel God moving me in a certain direction and then I doubt it was even God's voice moving me that direction. So I don't know if my problem is hearing God's voice or not trusting him. When I am in certain situations I tend to want to close myself off and run away rather than open up and be vulnerable....especially when past experience has told me over and over again that it's not going to work out. So right now I am in a place where I am trying to be open for what God has for me rather than follow my instinct of running. Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing between closed doors and obstacles in the way. So please pray for me. I know my blog audience consists of two people or less, but I care about you both a lot....and I'm still here.
An act of kindnes?
Dear co-worker,
Although I really appreciate that you were thinking about me and care about me, I don't see your "act of kindness" as very kind. I find it to be judgmental, poorly informed, and cowardly. I do admit that you have some basis for your concern. However, you do not seem to know the situation. Your little "act" has left me feeling mortified, very hurt, and angry. I will take your suggestion into consideration. However, the next time you have advice for me, please come to me and tell me face to face rather than leaving a note in my car. If we have the kind of relationship that you are insinuating we have by your advice, then I will see it as an act of love rather than one of judgment.
Thanks again,
Me
Things I don't understand about my new home
DISCLAIMER: I am writing this purely for fun and not to make fun of anyone, nor to imply that I am not enjoying my new home. I like many things about being here and I know if I made a list for my past homes the list would be at least as long, if not longer.
I don't understand.............
1. .........how people can talk with Southern accents and be from Pennsylvania.
2. ..............how there are tons of churches and everyone seems to go to church.
3. .........how schools decide to close if there is even a threat of snow (that of course never comes) and maybe even a little ice that is melted by rain afterwards.
4. ............how they are prepared for snow but still insist on not plowing the roads.
5. ........how my new place is considered "close and convenient" to everything, yet is 10 miles from the closest 'real' grocery store.
6. ...........how people can live with Sheetz instead of Wawa.
7. ........what exactly is a primary school and how it is different from elementary school (btw primary is k-2 and elementary is 3-5 here).
8. .......what "Waynesburr" is (translation=Waynesboro).
9. ............how EVERY area Wal-mart managed to be a Supercenter.
10. .........how my heating bill can be $553 for one month when I was away for almost two weeks of that month.
11. .........................how Chambersburg and Hagerstown are the "big cities".
12. ............ how one IU covers three whole counties (instead of one county like I am used to).
13. ......................how Main Street in Mercersburg (a town of about 1, 000 people) can sound like New York City because there are often sirens wailing past (often every day).
14. .............how the traffic lights can take so long to turn green when no one is coming the other direction.
15. ..........how there can be a "Chamber of Commerce" for a town that has little "commerce".
16. .....................how there can be 3 or 4 Bed and Breakfasts in a town of 1,000 people.
17. ......................how almost every radio station is a country music station. I know it's hard to believe, but not everyone likes country music.
18. .................how every single car at my job has a license plate from PA even though it is only 15 miles or less from MD.
19. .............that State Line is actually a town and not a term referring to the line between PA and MD.
20. ...................how people can go 5, 10, or even 15 miles below the speed limit when there are no cops around. I can't tell you how much this bugs me. I think it is even worse than Philly traffic. At least the traffic has a reason. There is no reason for going to slowly on a perfectly good and reasonably straight road. It seems like EVERYONE is insanely slow.
So here ya go. My list of local pet peeves. I'm sure I will add to it as time goes by.
Jumping on the bandwagon (hope you don't mind Jess :))
Dear Self,
Next time you move out of an area, please think a little. Don't plan your move day for the same week as tons of Christmas parties, a work week extra busy because you are trying to get 3 months worth of work done, a center that you are helping to pack and move, and dinners almost every night with friends you want to say good-bye to. It's ok to plan ahead and not to jam pack everything into the last week. You need to know that burnout and sleep deprivation are not attractive qualities on anyone. Just because you CAN pull all nighters for a week straight doesn't mean you HAVE TO or SHOULD. Also remember that you don't need to spend 18 hour days at your work to prove that you are a good worker. It's just a job and not nearly as important as spending time with your loved ones. Try to learn how to say the word "no"and include it in your vocabulary. It should be easy for you to practice saying it because you are a speech therapist. If you don't know what it means, look it up in a dictionary. If you can't find your dictionary because it is packed, go to
www.dictionary.com. And most of all, remember that this time of year should be focused on Christ's birth and not on you and your little world.
Seriously, what WERE you thinking?
Sincerely,
You
(BTW I did look up the word "no" on
www.dictionary.com because I was curious. There are 11 definitions for "no". This one is my favorite: no can do,
informal. it can't be done.
Celebration,Confession, and Confusion
Celebration: My sister had her baby!!! Her name is Natalie. My sister was holding out until December because Natalie means "born in December". She was also hoping for a December baby because she thinks November's birthstone is ugly (seriously). I honestly don't know the middle name yet or how much she weighs because my brother-in-law didn't tell me.
Confession: I am addicted to Craigslist. I found a place to live and I still go back to look at the apartments. I like seeing what is available. I also look at the insanely expensive ones to see what is so great about them. I only ever look at the apartment listings and have never looked at anything else on Craigslist. I just can't stop :).
Confusion: I have been looking for apartments in Western Maryland. Usually the listing has the name of the town. However, there are some listings that simply say "Western Maryland". This drives me nuts because I want to know WHERE in Western Maryland. It seems like there actually may be a town called Western Maryland. Seriously...who was the clever person who came up with that? "Hi, I'm from Western Maryland, Maryland".
I need prayer
Here is a quick plea for prayer. I got a call today at work telling me that my grandmother is sick and will only be alive for a few more hours. My family is heading to Connecticut to be with her. This weekend also happens to be a friend's wedding that I'm the maid of honor for and my dad is officiating. Please prayer for our travels because it is going to be a long and stressful weekend. We are going to arrive in CT and have to turn around to make it back for the rehearsal dinner in NY state tomorrow evening. Also pray for my very pregnant sister. She has decided to make the 6 hour trip from Maine because she has clearance from her doctor. We also don't know if she is saved. She has had Alzheimer's for years so there is little hope. Please keep the whole situation in your prayers.
Alone in my conviction
I was really in the mood to blog today (although it has been months) and was bummed because blogger is now blocked at work. I was gonna write a word document and send it to myself and post later but decided to give blogger a try. To my delight, I was able to get on my page. Who knows how long it will last.
So anyway, I'm sure y'all know about the World Series and how Game 5 was suspended due to horrible rain and weather. Well actually it is possible that you don't know if you don't live in the Philly area. If you do live in the Philly area you would have to live in a box not to know. The Phillies have gotten more press than the election this week....seriously. So if you don't know, Game 5 on Monday was the clincher for the Phillies. If they won, they would be the champions because they were ahead 3 games to 1. Well the weather got bad Monday night so they suspended the game during the sixth inning. This has never happened before in history. The weather was again horrible on Tuesday so the game was suspended until Wed. night (last night) at 8:37 p.m. The scored was tied 2 to 2 when the game was suspended. This game was extremely important to sports fans in this area. It was the team's chance to pull off a victory for the first time since 1980 so 28 years. It would also be the second victory in all of Phillies history (in 126 years of history that's pretty pathetic). To add to the drama, the city of Philadelphia has not won a championship in any sport since 1983. That can be heartbreaking for a big sports town like Philly.
So I give you all of this background so you know the root of the problem. Well Wed night was the big game so of course everyone planned on watching it. Wed. night also happens to be my House Church (HC) night (HC is what my church calls small groups-it's based on the Bible when groups met for church in people's homes). My HC leader has lived in the Philly area his whole life. He loves everything about this area and is a diehard fan of Philly sports teams. On Tuesday he sent me an email asking my advice about having HC or not. I told him it would be a bad idea to cancel HC and we should compromise and have HC earlier or meet for an hour instead of an hour and a half. Well he decided to cancel it completely. He wanted to be authentic and real with us so he told us he didn't want to have HC. He invited us to a sports bar where we could hang out (fellowship :)) and watch the game together.
So as it seems, I am the only one who was upset that he decided to cancel HC. Everyone else who came was all for hanging out because it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Everyone felt that it was just one HC but the Phillies playing in and possibly winning the World Series is a rare event. I just don't see why we let popular culture influence the church. Shouldn't it be the other way around? I know it was just one HC but what if someone was really looking forward to it all week? Or what if someone from our group really needed prayer and was needing us to be there for him/her? What if someone new decided to drive out to HC to find in canceled? I feel like it sends the message that a big game is more important than HC. HC was pretty much started and made popular by my HC leader (he is also an associate pastor at my church). I know how important HC is to him. I just think canceling it like this sends a bad message. And how far does it go? What if there is a series finale on TV that most of the group is into? That's a once in a lifetime event too. Do we cancel HC for that? I know there are a lot of 'what ifs' in here but you never know.
I want to add in here how much I love and respect my HC leader. He is a wonderful guy who is so real and a very godly man. He has helped me grow in so many ways. I completely understand his passion. I am a sports fan myself. I just don't agree with his decision to cancel it completely. I don't see why we couldn't have compromised and done both. I guess it was his desire to go to a sports bar with other Phillies fans and we wouldn't be able to get in if we went too late. His point was that if one of the other HC leaders decided to cancel, he wouldn't be upset. He decided to be real and do what he wanted to do rather than look out for the interest of the group. It's not always fair but part of being a pastor is looking out for the group first over your own desires.
I ended up going with them and having a blast. I even got to know a girl better from HC. The Phillies did win and it was an exciting game. However, I still feel so unsettled about the whole thing and it wasn't even my decision. Maybe I'm wrong. It was just one HC and there will be plenty more. Maybe I'm being too legalistic and set in my ways. I'm really the only one who thinks it was a bad idea, including the lead pastor. I'm really trying to let it go but it is still bothering me. I think it is more about the big picture rather than this little event. It reflects our American culture. I'm getting sick of American culture and how it influences the church. We make decisions like this daily.......we choose things over God........and at what price?
