Saturday, November 28, 2009

I'm still here

I don't have much to say but I am wide awake at 2 a.m. and I am staying at my parents' house where I have internet so I decided to take advantage of it. It has been a crazy few months for me. It feels like one big whirlwind and I haven't had time to truly get my footing. My new job and new place are both going well. My biggest struggle lately is trusting God (as it often is). I often feel God moving me in a certain direction and then I doubt it was even God's voice moving me that direction. So I don't know if my problem is hearing God's voice or not trusting him. When I am in certain situations I tend to want to close myself off and run away rather than open up and be vulnerable....especially when past experience has told me over and over again that it's not going to work out. So right now I am in a place where I am trying to be open for what God has for me rather than follow my instinct of running. Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing between closed doors and obstacles in the way. So please pray for me. I know my blog audience consists of two people or less, but I care about you both a lot....and I'm still here.


At 2:58 AM, Blogger Beccalynn said...

That's something we all struggle with. I wonder why God lets us struggle? I guess there's something worth earning in the battle. Trust has been a HUGE issue for me since Noelle's birth--HUGE! I've sort of come to the conclusion that my trust for God increases when my closeness to him increases. You trust people you know. When I don't know God that well--when he's become somewhat of a stranger to me--it's harder for me to trust Him. Stupid me, though, why do I let that happen when He's the best friend? In any case, I understand. Can't wait to see you tomorrow in church!!! ...unless you're still in NY :-(

At 2:29 PM, Blogger Jessica said...

I agree with Becca - even though our answer doesn't help much. We all deal with that to some degree or another. I think that trusting God becomes easier the more we do it....though in a way it doesn't even sound to me like your issue is with trust. You move and act when He asks you to, when many of us wouldn't. You trust Him enough to take the step He moves you maybe your issue is more with contentment. He takes you somewhere, and it looks good until you get there. I think that's a lot of MY issue, actually, so maybe I'm just trying to see something in your story that I relate to. I know I always think things look rosy and wonderful on the front side of them, and I dream of how great it's going to be, but when the rubber meets the road and the day-to-day difficulties set in, I'm all disillusioned and wonder if that's where I'm supposed to be after all.

I think I understand, but even if I'm completely off base (which I'm sorry about if I am) I will pray for you. It's not easy....but many times, I do believe that's the point.

At 11:48 PM, Blogger Weezer said...

Okay, my Nina. You've got 3...count 'em....3 people who read your blog. I've gotten hooked on blogging (yep, it was bound to happen) and I've been waiting for you to resurface. Oh. Do you know that this is Jessica's mom!? You might not know who 'weezer' is.
The best I have to offer you is my prayers. Jessica tends to be my spiritual guide when I don't know what it is that I'm hearing or where I need to be going. God bless you, Sweetie. Maybe you need a good cleansing trip back to Georgia!!

At 12:14 AM, Blogger Weezer said...

So we're going to see you soon, huh? I'm excited. It's been such a long time and I've missed you. It's cold down here now so be sure to check out the weather channel before you hit the road. And for heaven careful.

At 3:24 AM, Blogger Beccalynn said...

I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I nominated you for two awards at my cloth diaper blog. By the time you come back to this you'll REALLY have to scroll down to find them ;-P


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