Sunday, March 13, 2005

Yet another depressing entry

Becca pointed out that my entries are always depressing and negative. She is right of course. My blog definitely shows a lot of my negative attitudes...especially lately. I just use my blog as a way to outlet to my frustrations and negative feelings. It is a good release for me. I look at my journal and all of those entries are negative too. For some reason I only have ganas to write when I am in a bad mood. That is when my true feelings come out. So those of you who read this, I am not this negative or grumpy all of the time. Probably most of you already know this because you probably know me fairly well. Anyways, having said that onto my latest negativity. I am having a hard time being around people lately. I really don't know why. I just want to retreat off into a corner by myself or be by myself and I feel like I never get the chance. I just feel so suffocated lately. That makes me push away the people I am closest to. I just feel like I need a breather...a retreat somewhere alone so I can reflect and pray. I know part of it is because I have been struggling with saddness and anger. I just act horribly sometimes when I try so hard not to. I love people and I feel lonely when I don't have anyone around. It amazes me how you can be surrounded and still feel all alone. I don't know why I am writing this in here. It is probably too personal. Anyways, I really do love all of you even when I don't show it.


At 9:02 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

I love you too Nina!! The blog is here so your friends can laugh/cry and experience all that you are and offer up their support and their concern. It is meant for you to tell us whatever is on your heart at that particular moment. If it is that you are depressed than it is God's call for us to Pray for you by His hand allowing for you to type these pained words that go out to cyberspace. I pray that you will find some comfort soon Nina! I love you!!

At 6:11 AM, Blogger Beccalynn said...

Oh, Nina,
I shouldn't have said that. I said it very matter-of-factly without thinking and I don't mind that they are depressing. I was just thinking that all the people who don't see you on a regular basis might think you are always depressed and sad but you aren' least from the little bit of contact I have with you daily or bi-daily (we should add that to the "Lynnario" (diccionario) Cuando broma yo rio!!!!!

At 9:19 AM, Blogger jc4ever40 said...

Hey Nina,
I love you babe! And I am sorry you are feeling that way and actually you are not alone! I have been feeling like that for a little bit and it is always confusing also. God maybe teaching you something right now and He wants you not to be around people right now so to make it better taught with out dissruptions. Just a thought! But as Nikki said, we can help you through your pain and suffering. Well God bless and please don't hesitate to talk with anyone of us! We love you and are here for you always! I love you babe! Sorry this is so long....


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