Monday, January 31, 2005

"I'd rather burn for You than fade away"

This weekend was so incredible. I want to write all of the little details because it was amazing.
Friday was horrible. I was so stressed and overwhelmed. I was stressed about the usual-work, money, etc. I was told that my manager probably wouldn't let me make up the hours I had missed for going home sick even though he told me I could make them up whenever. Losing all of those hours would have been bad because I am full time and need to maintain a certain number of hours. After work I called Becca and cried to her on the phone. She was great and made me feel better. I went to meet old friends whom I hadn't seen in almost two years. I was in such an awful mood when i got there. It was so nice seeing them though. I felt so much better. We just ate dinner and shopped but it was really great. Afterwards I was going to go to a movie with Becca but she decided not to so I called Marc. On my way to his house my mom called. I burst into tears again while talking to her. I told her I wanted to give up and just move home. It would be so much easier in some ways and definitely cheaper. I hung out at Marc's until 1:30 or 2. It was really nice. There is something about him that always makes me feel better. Unfortunately our evening ended a little badly but I won't talk about that on here.
Saturday was awesome. I won't write too much about it because Becca covered most of that. It was really good. I felt so renewed and hopeful after our roommate bonding. Then Laura's was incredible too. Becca said she was glad to see my (genuine) smile. She was right. It was there and I felt it. On Saturday I had people comment on how happy I seemed. I have had people commenting on how sad I was for months (friends and others). It was a nice change. While Laura and Becca were singing "In Christ Alone" I started crying for Jeff and feeling his pain. I guess I got my compassion back. I called my boss at BBB to ask if I could work a few hours to make up for the hours I had lost. I was expecting a fight where I would get mad and quit. I called and he told me I could definitely come in. He also said the exact amount of hours I needed. It is amazing how God works. Lynette and I went to a movie and the KOP Diner Saturday night.
Sunday morning something cool happened. I was watching the Today Show with Lynette and they were showing people outside in the cold. They mentioned and showed people fromWaverly, NY (which is the tiny town where my parents live and I am from). I recognized them as two ladies from my church!! I called my dad to confirm that it was them and it was. Pretty cool eh? On my way to church I felt a strong urge to pull over and pray. I needed to pray for a broken relationship with a friend of mine. I needed the courage to not give up on this person. I needed the strength to stay and deal with it when all I wanted to do was run away. God gave me peace about it. I also prayed for myself and my wandering away from God. It was incredible. I felt revived and alive again. During Sunday school I was paired up with the very person whom I was having problems with for group work. It was weird too because I had changed seats at the last minute. The topic was relationships and love. We had to sum up a paraphrased version of 1 Corinthians 13-Enduring love is selfless. Very ironic. God definitely has a sense of humor. So there is no resolution but there is definitely hope.
Ok not too much else to say. I need to get going.


At 6:14 AM, Blogger Beccalynn said...

just so you know, I purposely didn't sit next to you so that would happen. The both of you needed it. I love you!


Post a Comment

<< Home