Thursday, December 28, 2006

There's no place like home?

Home seems like such a fluid concept to me. I always say I am going home referring to Waverly, NY. I also say I'm going home when I refer to Phoenixville, PA. So where is my home? They say home is where the heart is. I really wouldn't be able to say where mine is as far as location goes. Being in New York makes me feel like it's there. I had such a great time over Christmas break. Sure it was busy and I did a lot of running around, but it was great. I feel like I easily fit back in at home. I can easily fall back into my place as pastor's daughter, aunt, sister, and daughter. I have family there. I like walking the few blocks to my sister's house and walking in. I like seeing my niece at least once a day. I like getting together with old friends and it taking only 2 minutes to meet up. I never realized how close everything realize is at my home in NY. Sure the closest mall is 25 miles away and the closest chain restaurants are 20 miles away, but people just seem so close. And if I need to drive the 25 miles to the mall then it only takes 20 minutes. It doesn't take an hour because I don't have to sit in horrible traffic. I miss going to the grocery store and running into several people I know. It is impossible to go out without seeing someone you know. It annoyed me in the past but at times I find it endearing now. I never thought I would consider moving back to NY but the thought has crossed my mind. It's hard not being near my niece or the rest of my family. My friend is trying to talk me into moving back and I am actually considering it. Then I think about what I would be leaving. I would be leaving behind my independence and my freedom. At times I like that I have very little ties. I don't have to worry about being the pastor's daughter. I don't have to worry about my family stopping by to see me anytime they want. I don't have to worry about running into someone at the store when I am trying to avoid everyone. I also have a wonderful set of friends who is like family to me....they are just more spread out. It would be very hard to separate from them. So I don't know what I want yet again. I also feel like I want an exciting new place all together to make a fresh start. I don't know. In Sweet Home Alabama, one of the characters says you can have both roots and wings. That may be true but how can you fly if your roots are stuck in the ground?


At 8:54 AM, Blogger beccalynn said...

Nina, it sounds like you had fun! YOu know, Dave and I are considering the same thing...moving to Connecticut within the next few years...or whenever we decide to start having kids...and I'm having the same types of struggles in my mind. I'd HATE to leave you guys...and the friendships we have here...but we both know that we would keep in touch like we have with Jess and that we'd make great friends in our new places...or in your case, you'd just reconnect with great friends....I'm glad you had fun though, and found the settling that comes from being "home" for a little bit.

At 8:56 AM, Blogger Jessica said...

I know just what you mean. I dealt with that a lot when I was in college, because so many of the people I was in school with actually called school "home," and I could never bring myself to do that. I always called my parents' house home, and felt so discombobulated so much of the time because I spent so little of my time at the place I felt like was home. And I have the opposite kind of thoughts as you and Becca in, I've stayed in town where I grew up. I came home to the same house I grew up in after I graduated, and now that I'm married I'm a mere 20 minutes from my mom. I like it, really, but at the same time I look at y'all, with your homes and lives of your own in a different town separate from your families, and I think how I might have missed out on something by staying so close. I never really plan on leaving, unless God has other ideas, so I have to wonder what I might have experienced had I branched out a little more. Of course, I know I was supposed to be here some, or else I never would have fallen in love with Scott and might even now be clueless to his charms..... I guess there are pros and cons to either way. All of that is to say simply this: I know where you're coming from.


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