Sunday, December 10, 2006

Cleansing tears

People say tears can be healing and cleansing and it is really true. I just had dinner with a friend and the tears just came. I was just planning to have dinner to catch up with a friend whom I hadn't seen in awhile. I really had no intention of sharing my deep, dark struggles at all. I expected the usual "What have you been up to lately?" talk. I expected to just catch up with my friend but we ended up talking more. I was even thinking about canceling because I had a lot of social interaction today and it just seemed like too much to handle. I really didn't want to share more than surface talk but ended up crying for the first time in a long time. I have had tears in my eyes a lot lately but this is the first time I let them flow. I have felt so numb and not myself for a couple of months that I have not been able to cry even though there are times I have wanted to. I fought the tears at first but I gave up my fight to be strong. The friend I was with is one of my dearest friends who understands me more than most people. I just let myself cry on his shoulder. I then cried the whole way home and even have some tears now. I honestly feel a little better somehow. It never ceases to amaze me how God looks out for me and knows who/ what to send into my life even when I'm not actively seeking him.

4 Comments:

At 7:58 AM, Blogger Jen said...

Hey! Sorry that I didn't come yesterday! I just needed some time to myself and try to get myself recooped. I haven't been feeling to great and I still don't feel to great now. Yes, tears can and definitley are cleaning and healing! May not seem like it at the time but it is! hun, you really need to be talking with someone when you are struggling! As hard as it may be you need to. We are the body of Christ and if we don't tell our friends what is going it hurts the body of Christ slighty. God is amazing in amazing and mysterious ways! God knows your true self and everything about you and that is why He sends the people He does to you! I love you and am here for you if you ever need to talk! Give me a call if you ever need! Love you!

 
At 8:45 PM, Blogger Lynette said...

it's funny that you chose to keep your friend anonomyous because anyone who knows you knows who it is...

 
At 8:05 AM, Blogger beccalynn said...

Ditto on that one lynette. I'm glad you got to cry too. It's such a relief! I think tears are one of God's many gifts to us.

 
At 8:36 AM, Blogger Jen said...

i think if you are friends with someone ya kinda can guess who they are speaking of without them saying it....

*cleansing not cleaning lol!! whoops!

 

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