Thursday, September 22, 2005

Bad things always find me

No matter what I do, no matter how much I try to run or hide, bad things always follow me. At least I will have something to write about in tonight's blog :). I am very exhausted and discouraged. It has been a long and rough week. Nothing major happened until tonight. I was home last weekend seeing my beautiful new niece. Unfortunately it made me tired for the whole week. I also worked Monday night for someone who is on vacation so that ruined my one night off. I think I am getting sick too. It just kept piling up. Today was long and hard. I don't have time to eat on most Wed and Thurs. I go right from the preschool to my graduate assisstanship to class. I finally have time at 8 o'clock at night. I almost had a breakdown at class today. I just felt overwhelmed. I felt insane for taking 17 credits and working full time between 2 jobs and a grad assisstanship. I feel like i just can't do it. Like I don't have anything to give. And besides what is the point? I will end up with $80,000 worth of loans and be burnt out before I even start. I can't do it. After class I just wanted to be home and in bed before I needed to write papers, etc. I needed time to unwind and relax. Well unfortunately that is not what happened. I stopped to get gas on the way home and a car backed into me. Not only did it back into me but into my rental car. My car has been in the garage for 4 weeks because I hit a tree awhile ago. So now my rental is dented. I really have an awful time with cars. It wasn't my fault at all but it shook me up. I saw her backing into me and I couldn't do anything about it. It was a surreal, slow motion event. I called Marc because I wasn't calm enough to drive. He rescued me and helped me feel a little better like he always does. It was the perfect ending to my already horrible day. So now I have added hassle in my life. Like I didn't have enough already. It adds to my list of phone calls I have to make. I am just so worn out.


At 6:50 AM, Blogger Nikki said...

Hey Nina,
Welcome back!
I am sorry to hear that things are going so rough. I relly know how you feel though. I am in that spot right now. I should really be working on my speech that is due in 3 weeks, working on my studies in which I am over a week behind in or preparing for my Peer Mediation class that I have nothing ready for next week. It has been a constant struggle for me, but I just keep reminding myself that I have to trust God will make it happen and if He tells me I need to back off something, I will listen.

Please pray about that. Maybe you are doing to much and God is trying to tell you that. If you need to give up one of the jobs and are worried about the $, don't be because God will provide. If you trust in Him (which is hard to do when we keep turning back to our own strength). Ephesians 6:10-11


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